Of Sugar Highs and High Fives
by Sparklespazz101
Summary: Please re-read chapter four, there is a whole new chapter inside of it! Marauder adventures! Promise will make you laugh! 6th chapter up soon! First chappie not my best...
1. Broken Nails Lead to Broken Dreams

**A/N: This is something I've wanted to do **_**forever**_** I just didn't get around to it. This will be a chapter story. It's about the marauder's weird adventures at Hogwarts, and is a slightly more... crazy version of the boys. I will update a.s.a.p. but I have testing at school right now... I will need lots of reviews to keep me going!**

Of Sugar Highs and High Fives

Sirius Black was not what you would call normal, and that's not just because he was a wizard. No, Sirius had some... strange things about him. This of course made it difficult for others to be around him. Only a select few at Hogwarts had the patience to get to know him, one of which was getting ready to kill him.

"PADFOOT! WE DO _NOT_ BREAK THINGS FOR FUN!"

Sirius only laughed at Remus's red features.

"THIS IS NOT FUNNY! IF THIS IS WHAT DOGFOOD DOES TO YOU, DON'T EAT IT!"

This snapped Sirius back in to reality.

"Heyy... I don't eat dog food! Now I have licked a piece before, but that was a dare..."

He trailed off when Remus narrowed his eyes.

Padfoot fell silent, all the wheels in his mind turning. Suddenly, he knew what to do to get out of trouble.

Padfoot trembled his lower lip, and made his eyes big and watery.

He saw Remus's twitch.

He made his face more dramatic, and this time a chuckle escaped Remus's pressed lips.

He now made faux whimpering sounds and put on his" I'm-so-sorry-you-must-hate-me-now" face.

This time Remus spoke, "Oh my god, you are such a kiss-up. I think you beat James."

"What about me?" A third marauder poked his head around the door frame to find his two friends and his broom... his _broken_ broom.

James' features turned from confused to maniacal.

"Somebody's going to die, right here, right now."

Both Sirius and Remus knew he meant it, and they exchanged a glance backing up against the door on the opposite wall from James.

"Ummm, RUN REMY, RUN!" and Sirius was off. "Right behind you!" Remus yelled after him.

As soon as they were through the door, James gave chase.

The three ran up and down corridors, through unsuspecting crowds, and broke a good number of expensive baubles.

Remus and Sirius knew they would soon be caught, for they did not have the Quidditch stamina James did. Right as Sirius was about to give up, they heard a _thump_ at the bottom of the stairs.

Both boys stopped and turned around. Remus gasped when he saw James laying in a daze at the foot of the stairs.

"James!", Sirius cried. He ran over to his friend and stooped down beside him. "Are you hurt?"

"Yes...", he croaked.

"Uh-oh. What hurts?"

"My hand..."

Sirius examined his hand.

"Umm, what's wrong with it?"

James turned his head as if he could not bear to look at it. "The-" he gasped dramatically, then said in a hushed whisper, "Nail".

Sure enough, his nail was broken.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I think he's fine."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" James screeched. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DO WITH THIS HAND ON A DAILY BASIS?"

"James, cut it out-"

"NO! NO! THIS IS ALLYOUR FAULT! NOW I WILL NEVER PLAY QUIDDITCH AGAIN, I CAN NEVER PICK A FLOWER FOR LILY, HECK I WONT EVEN BE ABLE TO HOLD MY CHILDREN, I CAN NEVER WRITE OR I MIGHT STRAIN MYSELF-"

"James shut up! People are staring!"

"I DON'T CARE! MY LIFE IS RUINED!"

No one could say anything to calm James down, for he was drowning in self-pity, and they were all familiar that when James drowned in self-pity, he was miserable for days.

Remus prepared himself for a horrible week. _"Poor stairs."_ he thought. _"You're_ _going to __get mauled."_

Sirius, Peter, and Remus were worried. They hadn't seen James all morning, and after his latest escapade he couldn't be up to anything good.

"Guys.." Remus whispered. "I'm afraid James is going to do something awful to us. You know, 'cause his broom, then his nail, then his dignity... That's a lot for egotistical James."

"In one week, no less!" Peter chirped in.

Sirius had been about to say something when the Grand Hall doors burst open, and in strode James.

All three marauders' jaws dropped when they saw him.

James was wearing a t-shirt with all house colors on it that said, 'Boycott the Hogwarts Stairs!' and on the back it said, 'Risk no more lives! Refuse the stairs!" He had a red and gold crown on his head with pictures of stairs with x's drawn through them. He had charmed his robes to flash different colors and occasionally scream 'NO MORE STAIRS!'

He walked toward the Marauders with a haughty look on his face.

"Pretty cool, eh?"

"No." said Sirius frankly. He scooted a few seats down. "I don't know you."

James pouted. "Fine. Anyone else?" he turned back to Peter and Remus.

They immediately left for the library.

"Ok, but when this is all the rage, I get to say it was all my idea!"

Sirius just shook his head and headed for the common room.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter had done their best to ignore James. Still, it was hard to avoid the weirdness. Everywhere they looked, people were wearing pins, hats, and stickers that said, "NO STAIRS" It was rather funny because James was just talking about...

Oh no.

Once Remus had taken some aspirin and returned to the dormitory, he went to search for James. He looked everywhere James usually was, the couch, the chair, the bed, the bathroom, and even everywhere James usually wasn't.

On his second time around he finally found James- in a cabinet.

"Umm, may I-"

"Don't ask."

"Just one question?"

"Fine."

"Why are you hiding in a cabinet?"

James glanced around quickly. Then he leaned in and whispered, "Fan-girls."

He smirked. "I _told_ you guys this was going to be huge!"

Just then, Sirius burst in... sporting a Dr. Seuss sized 'stairs' hat.

"Idea-stealer!"

"Nuh-uh! This is totally mine. If I hadn't broke your broom, you wouldn't have chased me and Remy down four flights of stairs, therefore tripping, breaking your nail, losing your dignity, and starting this whole fiasco. Duh, anyone with eyes could see that."

After a pause, someone began:

"First" James started, "It's Remy and _I_. Second-"

He broke into a grin, which Sirius returned.

"We're going to attend to the fan-girls?" Sirius asked hopefully.

James giggled, then laughed, then went into a fit of hysterical cries, before managing a small sigh

"Idiots!"

"I'm confuzzled..."

"I just did all this to annoy you." He pulled out his wand, and with a swish, all 'no stairs' merchandise was gone.

Sirius and Remus exchanged glances before Remus spoke up.

"You know, I find it quite unhealthy that this does not surprise me."

"I could say anything and it wouldn't surprise you."

"Touche."

**a/n: Not my best piece, but there will be more chapters! I couldn't really think of a good plot, so I need some help for next chapter. It can have to do with whatever, I can work with pretty much anything. Thanks! R&R!**


	2. Thank the Lord for Aurors!

**a/n: Hey! Sorry I haven't updated, things are kind of busy and I got discouraged because the story got deleted (on accident). Please review and tell me what you want next!**

Of Sugar Highs and High Fives

James Potter had offended many people in his lifetime, because, well, that's just how he was. In many cases, he had called someone a creep, or phsyco, ect. But now, he was learning the true meaning of the word mental...

* * *

James was panting as he ran among the streets of Diagon Alley, knocking over street stalls, small children, and occasionally, cauldrons full of unknown substances (that had only happened once, but now the purple goo wouldn't come out of his hair).

"EXCUSE ME!", he yelled to a nearby auror. "HEY, I NEED SOME HELP HERE!"

Kingsley Shacklebolt, an auror in training, turned around with a look of confusion on his face as he faced the young Potter.

"What seems to be the problem?"

"Guyfrommungo'''-"

"Woah, stop." Kingsley commanded. "I only caught 'guy' 'mungo's' 'screaming' and 'glasses' so do you mind pieceing those together for me?"

James smiled sheepishly.

"I made a mentally ill guy from Mungo's mad, and now he's- CRAP, RIGHT BEHIND YOU!"

Kingsley turned quicker than the speed of light and shot a stunner at a nearby man who was currently foaming at the mouth.

The St. Mungo's man dropped to the ground with a thud, and James slid down with his back against a tree.

"Thank god for Aurors."

"Your welcome."

"Huh? Oh- thanks."

"So, does this kind of thing happen to you a lot?"

"Well, yes, but usually only when Sirius is around."

"Sirius Black?"

"Uh-huh. Got a problem?"

"No, no. It's just I didn't think a Black would be friends with a Potter.

"He's not like his family."

"Oh."

There was an akward pause then James nodded toward the motionless man and said, "You probably should get him back to Mungo's." He rolled his eyes. "No doubt they won't notice-" He looked at the tag on the man's wrist. "-patient number one-thousand, seven-hundred, fifty-two is missing."

Shacklebolt chuckled.

"Goodbye-"

"James."

"Well then, goodbye James."

**a/n: Psh, yeah, I know. Short. But more is coming! Thanks to people that reviewed! R&R!**

**Btw, Remus will appear more soon. Probably not Peter though, 'cause I hate his guts. Bye! :)**


	3. And You Think Your Boss is Bad

**a/n: Haha, this is a chapter from my life. Or, I guess, from my friends' life. Enjoy...**

Of Sugar Highs and High Fives

Sirius Black walked grinning into the one and only, fully furnished, head-auror office. His best friend, James, dad was an auror at the ministry, and after hearing they were on the path to being aurors themselves, decided to let them attend the meeting. Sirius chuckled to himself as he remembered the _grand_ speech given about 'how to behave in front of 45 important ministry officials'.

He shuffled over to where James was sitting and propped his feet up next to him. Then he remembered the speech, and lowered them, seeing how the last of the aurors were trickling in, along with James' dad who had just closed the door behind him.

The meeting was about to begin!

* * *

"So, to begin the meeting, excellent job on the wards around Motgomery's house, Benson, there were only two weak spots which were fixed at once."

Benson nodded his aknowledgement. Geez, these guys were dignified!

Mr. Potter continued. "Also, I-" he was cut off when someone's cell phone rang.

'BLEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEEP BLEP BLEP BLEOP BLEP-BLEEP... BLEEEEEEPPPP BLEEEP BLEEP BLEP-'

An auror in the back was about to answer it, but with one look from Mr. Potter, it was declined.

Sirius snorted. Maybe it was just Benson who was dignified.

Mr. Potter glared around the room before speaking again,

"Also I would like to welcome two new guests. Please meet my son, James, and his friend, Sirius, who have decided to take the auror path in life (there were some cheers here) and will be joining our ranks as of-"

'YOUR MOMMA'S CALLING BACK, SHE'LL WASTE YOU MINUTES TALKING 'BOUT THE CAT, OR HOW DAD'S GOTTEN FAT, NO DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE, NO DON-"

Mr. Potter put his head in his hands.

"No, actually, please pick up the phone. I'm sure your mother can scold you better than I can."

A short man with greasy black hair and a crooked nose gave a sheepish grin as he silenced his cell phone.

Mr. Potter swept the room with one look and began to scribble on the whiteboard.

"Now if this is the house we will be raiding, these are your new positions. I want all Defense to stick close to your assigned Raider. Be sure to watch in front of him too, oh, and keep out of his wand range. We had some trouble with that before-"

'YOU SPIN MY HEAD RIGHT ROUND, RIGHT ROUND WHEN YOU GO DOWN WHEN YOU GO DOWN DOWN-'

"******!" Mr. Potter cursed loudly. "THE NEXT PERSON WHO'S CELL PHONE GOES OF IS FIRED, DO YOU HEAR?! FIRED! I DON'T CARE IF YOU GRADUATED TOP OF THE CLASS!"

Everyone, even James and Sirius, dared not speak. Unfortuneatly...

'I KISSED A GUY AND I LIKED IT, HOPE MY GIRLFRIEND DON'T MIND IT- IT FELT SO RIGHT, IT FELT SO WRONG, I THINK-'

This time, it was an embarrased Mr. Potter who silenced his cell phone.

"Wow dad..." James started. "Theres a lot of things we don't know about each other..."

The horrified room burst into laughter. Mr. Potter sat down at his desk, holding his head in his hands. Suddenly, a timer on Potter's briefcase went off, signaling it was time to leave.

As the room cleared, the three were silent. Suddenly Sirius spoke up:

"Why was your ringtone-"

James cut him off.

"He's using my friends' old phone while his is being fixed."

"And-"

"He just got it this morning, he didn't have a chance to change the ringtone."

"So... was your friend... gay?"

James winced. "He, er, made it known. To a select few."

They both shuddered.

**a/n: ...sorry. That actually happened to my best friend's mom... but I had to change some lyrics to the song here or it wouldn't work. Imagine leading a meeting with a bunch of parents, then having your cell phone yell, 'I KISSED A GIRL!'. Haha.**


	4. Perhaps a Gender Change Won't Kill Me

**a/n: Big thanks to suzy5 for beta-ing my story, and another thanks to Lorna Varney for giving me the idea for this one! I told you there would be more Remus... **

Of Sugar Highs and High Fives

Sigh. Just a normal day for Remus Lupin in potions. Slughorn's extremely boring lecture, dealing with the Slytherins, hoping he didn't stir his potion the wrong way, dealing with the Slytherins, ignoring the snickers from James and Sirius, dealing with the Slytherins, shutting Peter up, dealing with the Slytherins, you get the gyst. Yeah, that was basically why he disliked the class. Even though it was boring and irritating, nothing horrible ever happened. Or so he thought...

"Remus, what next?"

"Read the instructions Peter."

"What instructions? I thought we had to do this from memory?"

Remus leaned back in his chair and pushed the hair out of his face.

"Dump that out. You're going to need to start over."

Remus and Peter looked up startled as they heard shouts.

James, along with Sirius, were locked in combat with two other Slytherins.

Jelly-leg curses to Acne-All-Over hexes were being thrown back in forth as Slughorn tried to get the boys under control.

Remus found he could do nothing but stare as one Slytherin boy raised his wand, about to hit an unsuspecting James. Suddenly, he snapped back into reality.

"NOOOOOOO!"

Remus felt as if he was moving in slow motion. He had meant to knock James out of the way, but-

"_OOMPH_"

-it seems he took the blow for him. Try as he might, Remus couldn't keep his eyes open. The last thing he heard was

"Look! You've gone and killed him!" From Sirius, of course.

"Shh, I think he's waking up."

"Really? REMUS? REMUS CAN YOU HEA-"

"Peter, if he's unconcious that won't really help."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"He doesn't look like Remus _at all!_"

"Good job, Sirius. You figured out the guy you have known for five years now just went through a gender change."

"WHAT?" That really woke Remus up. Falling asleep with the marauders around was never a good idea, but would they really... Oh, right. All the memories from potions came flooding back.

"I feel so funny."

James and Sirius were rolling on the ground with laughter.

"Wow mate, I'm glad you took _that_ blow for me!"

Now he was really scared. "What hap-" he started, but was cut off when Sirius held a mirror to his face.

A more- _ahem_-girlish Remus stared back at him. Or rather, her!

A scream about two octaves higher than the male Remus' pierced through the air.

She covered her mouth as soon as she opened it. James was still doubled over in laughter and Sirius was choking.

"You guys this is not funny! Help me get back!", said Remus stomping his foot in a girlish manner.

Peter spoke up. "Professor Dumbledore is brewing a potion to change you back, but it takes about a month, so your stuck in girl form until then."

Remus looked himself over then shrugged.

"At least now maybe I can get a date."

"...wait, I thought you were straight?"

"Shut up, Peter."

***End Part I***

**a/n: Thanks, alex-nutter, for giving me the idea for this chapter! There will be mentions to a girls' "Time-of-the-month" in here, just a fore-warning.**

Whatever Happened to Remus?

"Come on, Remilda, it's not that bad."

"Sirius, I cannot go to Herbology like this!"

"Moony, think of it like this: The Slytherins can't hit girls!"

"Stuff it, James."

As the three boys walked to the greenhouses, Remilda kept ducking behind bushes to avoid people. James finally convinced him to stop when he tripped over a snogging couple behind the fifth bush.

"Hey!"

"Heh heh. Sorry guys."

Finally, the stood in front of greenhouse #004. With her legs like jelly, Remilda thrust open the door. Soon after, the whispering started.

"Who's the chick with the marauders?"

"Did they ditch Remus?"

"I bet it's one of Sirius' favorite girlfriends."

Remilda kept her head high, and sat down next to James. She looked over to see what table was next to her. What she saw made her gag.

_"Oh. My. Lord. Did Snape just wink at me?"_

Lucius Malfoy, seeing this, gave Remilda his sweetest smile and then turned to glare at Snape.

"Guys! Please, just let me go back to the commons!", Remilda begged.

"Now, now, sweetums. You wouldn't want to fail Herbology!"

Remilda glared at her friends. They knew her all too well.

As Professor Glandheir explained the assignment, Remilda found herself drifting away to a different world. She didn't realize Glandheir had finished speaking until Sirius snapped his fingers in front of her face and asked her to get the supplies. She walked up to the largest shelf (holding plants), and picked up a rather small pot. She didn't realize she was holding a Singing Silly-Be until she was flat on the floor, out like a light, and all the while the plant kept singing...

"GO TO SLEEP, GO TO SLEEP, REST YOUR HEAD LIT-TLE MON-KEY;

MAKE A WISH, THEN TAIL YOU SWISH;

SWEET DREAMS LITTLE MONKEY!"

Many people with earmuffs on rushed over to help get the new girl onto a chair.

Professor Glandheir faced the room. "Hopefully, after my lesson, you are aware that people put to sleep by the rare Sleep-bringing Singing Silly-be cannot be awakened for half an hour. No one really knows why. In order to prevent brain damage, please leave miss... miss-"

"Miss Kane!" James volunteered.

"-miss Kane alone. Back to work!"

James, Sirius, and Peter made their way back to the desks.

"Geez, Remilda has all the fun!" Sirius pouted.

"Get over it Sirius. At least she didn't pick up a Stripping-urging Singing Silly-be. I really did not want to see Remilda de-clothed..."

Remilda was riding a pink pony through some clouds in a random, generic, faraway land when she was prodded awake.

"Um, Remy, your leaking."

Remilda recognized Sirius' voice, and absent-mindedly wiped the corner of her mouth, while still being half asleep.

"Uh, not that kind of leaking... It's coming from somewhere down lower."

Having no idea what he meant, Remilda opened her eyes to glare at him while feeling an odd sensation in her stomach.

She glanced down and clapped her hands over her mouth when she saw a big red spot on the seat of her pants. Remy looked up, then down, at Sirius, then down, at Sirius again, then down and-

"Why does everything happen to me?" she wailed while running out of the greenhouse.

Everyone turned to glare at Sirius.

"I didn't do anything!"

"Mhhmm.."

"Sure you didn't!"

"Do you like breaking girls' hearts?"

"You are a sick, sick man."

"Disgusting! Revolting!"

"Goodbye!" cried James as he grabbed Sirius' arm and ran with him out of the greenhouse.

They searched the grounds for Remilda until they heard he talking with Madam Pomfrey. Quietly, they ducked down by a staircase so they could listen in.

"Dear... this hasn't ever... happened to you before?"

"No! I don't even really know why I'm bleeding from the inside! But I think Sirius has something to do with it."

"I don't think Mr. Black has caused this honey."

"Yes he has! He did this to me! I hate him!"

"Honey-"

"Shut up! No wait, keep talking to me! I love you! I'm so confused?" Remilda broke down in a sobbing fit. Amongst all the commotion, who else but Dumbledore should strode in?

"Here Remus, take this potion before you do something rash."

Remilda snatched the potion, and ran into the bathroom. About 15 minutes later, Remus walked out perfectly normal. He handed the empty flask to Dumbledore, then turned to Madam Pomfrey.

"I have a new respect for women."


	5. Short n' Sweet

**a/n: :( You guys are not very good reviewers. I have only gotten a total of 4 reviews for this story. And I am working so hard! I might not continue if I don't get more.**

James scratched his nose. Then yawned. then stared at Evans. Then glanced at Sirius. Then fixed his glasses. Then-

"Oww!"

He picked at paper airplane out of his hair and opened it. It read:

_Hey. You look bored. I am too. So... Yeah._

_P.S. You are drooling a little bit._

_-Padfoot_

James glared at Sirius then got out a piece of notebook paper and wrote some random words on it. He turned around and faced Sirius.

"For your INF-OR-MATION I happen to be taking notes!"

"Psh, yeah right. Last time I checked we wern't studying-" He looked at James' paper. "-How to Win Evans' Heart."

James blushed and glanced up at McGonagall. She seemed to be getting suspicious. He looked back at Sirius.

"We continue this note style!"

"Fine by me."

James started:

**Padfoot, I know it is painful for you to see me madly in love with someone who doesn't love me back, and I know you can't stand seeing her break my heart into a million pieces every day, and... and how she glares at me... and... how she deflates my head.... But, yeah, you know, you shouldn't be worried about me, because I wouldn't want to weigh you down with my problems.**

_Oh, good, phew, glad that's off my shoulders._

**Yeah, I know. I am such a good friend.**

_You know, you are begining to sound like Moony._

**What's that supposed to mean?!**

_I don't know, it just sounded like a good comeback._

**Oh, so, wait was that supposed to offend me?**

_Umm... I have no clue... But, probably, yeah._

**:'( That is mean.**

_XD_

**You have a sick mind.**

_I know._

**Your... a dog!**

_Good job._

**Your mother hates you.**

_Nothing new._

**Evans thinks your a git!**

_Correct, she does make that known. _

**McGonagall is right behind you!**

_Haha, nice try._

**I wasn't joking.**

"You know, Mr. Black, James doesn't always lie."

"...crap."

**a/n: I know this is extremely short, but when you review, I will make longer chapters. I'll leave that comment fresh in your mind... ;D**


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